My hair

That instead of cutting my hair, I decided not to. I straightened it instead.

Sweet stuffs!

I just never thought that people would be so sweet and thoughtful. I just could not express how it melted my heart, knowing that through little sweet things, people made me smile bigtime!

A 20 peso bill with a message from my workmate- hazel.

A flower from a stranger to friend
And a traveling pillow from a friend, ER

A printed picture from a friend, Janet. 'Ako nalang daw bumili ng picture frame, okay fine!" hehe

A personalized chain with my name on it and a cute little airplane with a sweet message from my unit supervisor from work.

A message in the bottle from my workmate, Ann2.

A lovely souvenir from Paris from my friend, Cherry.

A huge bday card from my headnurse, Sir Jav with all the greetings from the whole 3600 staffs. Thank you!

A little toodle from my costaff, Genevieve. Coz according to her, this looks like me, "antukin"

Guys, from the bottom of my heart, thank you! I so much appreciate this! I could not say more. Aww, this made me feel so loved and I am so blessed to have you. Thank You! =)

Talking about Growing Up

Whenever I see people, teenagers go crazy about silly things, I never thought I was just one of them a long time ago. I was also the so-called "Silly Girl".

The rockstar wannabe, the crazy over a popstar, a trendy follower, loco over sweetums tweetums stuffs that whenever I remember those times, I go saying, "duh?! was that me then?"

So how does you know you are actually growing up? It's when you no longer go on concerts? shouting over you fave crush with a fan banner saying, "I love you Aaron Carter!" Ayayay, that was Justin Bieber on my time.ha-ha.  Or maybe a locco over Korean cuties and dreaming over them? Oh darn... Old days old days. been there, done that!

yes, i guess I have gone through them. As I was saying, I have moved on. Congratulations to me! I have grown up! But once in a while, isn't it cute to look back and remind yourself how silly you were?  I was!!!

This is my childhood bestfriend, Kathlyn! She was my partner in my teeny crushie talks, my teenage drama stories, my locco obsession over Aaron Carter, Leonardo de Caprio, The Moffats, Backstreet Boys, 7th Heaven series, Casper, M2M stuffs and many others.

This was US. From schooldays, to Prom nights, to the day we said goodbye to each other.

Then we met this another girl who became a big part of our teenage years, Pearl. We then became the trios. And guess what? I have to whisper to you guys, coz it's so nakakahiya. But, we actually had this kabaduyan name of our group. We called ourselves, "The Annce". Ann-for Jennifer ANNe and CE for kathlyn marCE and pearl graCE. nyahaha!!!'

Here we are! The "ANNCE"

oh dba? The moves! plus the the outfit, pamatay! I just could not help laughing, while looking at our picture. It's good to see yourself once upon a time and laugh how naive you were. Well, there's more!

We actually dreamed to have our own band. My two friends, Kathlyn and Pearl, were good in guitar. I know how, but I was not so good on it, anyway. We were recording our voices and portraying the once-famous-singers, The M2M. We believed we would be sikat one day. Mga ambisyosang palaka! And to make that things even more interesting, Kathlyn even composed a song for the 3 of us. I could still memorize the chorus. It goes like this....

"Now it's time to move in our ways. And leave the friends we had since yesterday. And even if if won't see each other again. We will look and and think about the friends we had." 


Amazing coz I could even remember the tune.

We were good girls. We did great in school. We had good grades, but sometimes, we cut classes, just for silly sessions. Nah, it's not inuman sessions. It was all about our concert-kuno, our beauty contest for our Barbie Dolls and paper Dolls, our drawing sessions, and mga kalandian while watching the backstreet boys on TV.

After high school, we parted ways. One on each island of the Philippines. Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao. From then on I never had much news about them. All I knew was the 3 of us became a NURSE.

I found out that Pearl got herself indulged with the Korean peeps, and so I did, as they were my first career. I worked as a Korean teacher. Dumating din ako sa point na I was head over heels crazy over the Korean tele serye and all those stuffs. Then finally, na outgrown ko din. narealize ko, these people doesn't even give a damn to us, why am I wasting my time? Nah, it was just so childish. That was just it!

Then, I came back to my hometown and thought of looking for Kathlyn. I haven't seen her for years already and I so just miss her! So finally, I saw her.

We had a lunch date outside and talked about the things we missed with each other. I found out that she's already married and she has a daughter who is turning 3 already. My God, napag iiwanan nako. Then I saw this picture of her daughter.

Oh EM Geee!!! She's so cute and this is so like Kathlyn! The Barbie Dolls! Oh my, it seems like time runs so fast that yesterday, it was us who were playing those dolls, now, it is her daughter! Sigh... yeah, growing up issues!

Then when I came back to Manila, Pearl told me that she's here too. So I grabbed the chance to meet her.
Okay, the same old beautiful girl I have met before. Seems like nothing has changed. Maybe we just both grew taller and now wiser in life. Pearl is such a future-driven person. She's focused with her life and motivated with her career. Now we are both seeking for our fate abroad.

While looking back at our old pictures, we just laughed at it and we are proud knowing that we have gone through them all.

Now, I can see people and teenagers who are still in this stage of time. Yung kung baga nasa stage ng pagkakaloka sa mga celebrities, karamihan sa mga korean. Well, sometimes, I find them funny and cute. It just remind me of myself once upon a time. I know that there will come a time when they will have outgrown this stage, they too would smile as they look back.

Well today, I just have to shrug and sigh. Buti nalang tapos nako sa stage na yun. Now, I am ready to face the realities of life.

When I unraveled God's Gift

Do you believe that God makes the best gifts ever? Do you believe that He is actually working the best things in your life more than you have ever prayed for?

It was quite a long run for me. I have been longing for this one prayer that took so long to happen. I have been praying over and over for my career to change at hand. I wanted to reach the future I am talking about for so long. I have been led to different roads. It took me some wrong turns before I finally found where God wants me to go.

Last year, I had been so much devastated after I have exerted too much time, money and effort in this one thing I believe I should be getting. I was so sure that I could get it. I passed all the examinations and interviews and completed the requirements. But hey, God said "No, it wasn't the best one yet, my dear! I am preparing something so great for you!"

I was so rushing. At first, I decided to go to Saudi. I thought it wouldn't matter anyway if I would be going there. Everything was all set, I was so fearless regardless of the things I have been hearing, I was just waiting for my visa, when it took a year after that I realized that it was not for me. I have thought of going to Singapore, but then again God whispered, "No my child, I have something better for you".

In an unexpected time, I was scheduled to take the HAAD exam by my friend. It was a less-than-a-week preparation. It was a licensing exam for UAE. An open country in middle east where I least expect I would be working to. I took the exam though I barely had my review. Well I believe if it's where God wants you to go, He will give it to you. I passed! Amazing!

I thought it would be that easy already. Me, being so impatient, thought that with that exam, I could go anywhere as fast as I wanted to. Then, I bumped into this employer who has suddenly made a big change in my life. I invested too much money, time and effort, knowing that this could be my fate. But everything was shattered when I was not able to leave. And yeah, it was not my fault. It wasn't anybody's too. Though it broke my heart, It is only now that I realized that i should be thankful I did not pursue it because God has something a lot to offer me. Something BIG! And now, I realized that instead of putting a blame into anyone, I should be thankful it did not happen.

During those times, I was suffering from different rage of emotions. I was having tantrums that I have to admit, I came to a point of questioning God, "Why?" Everyday, I have to face the dilemma of facing people and their queries on what had happened to me. At work, I have to drag myself, knowing that it was already against my will to work in the workplace where I ought to be leaving quite some time ago.

But I believe that my heart is still strong to go on. I worked anyway. Life goes on, and patiently, I told God that I will wait til His plans are ready.

I had brought back my life. I had breathe again. I had set aside my worries. I was no longer rushing. I was enjoying every minute of my everyday. I have traveled to several places, I met new people, I have fallen in love, I have fallen out of love, I have found peace of mind, and I was happy.

During the time that I have was already having a time of my life, God whispered, "My child, my gift for you is now ready. Now open it!"

Whoah! I never thought that it would be something far beyond my expectations. Few months I had passed all the employer's interview and screenings, I was offered a reasonable compensation. With that, I was already happy and contented. I didn't care when i would be leaving and if I would be leaving still. I got numb after all the delays I had before.

Then this God-given gift surprised me. As I unraveled the gift, I was so happy to know that the employer doubled the offer. Now it is even triple the offer I was longing before. It was something MORE than I even asked for. Plus, the place I am going to is really something great. Now, I am so overwhelmed!

 Then, everything happened so fast. I was no longer doing anything, but one by one, things are happening I wanted them to be.

Finally, I have let go with my job I had for almost 3 years, that I learned to fall in love with. I never thought that though how much I wanted to leave already, it was indeed heartbreaking to do so. Goodbyes weren't that easy. People just kept on touching my life that made me harder to say goodbye.

But then again, at the end of every journey, we should say goodbye. And at once we say hello again to another chapter in our life.

As I woke up this morning, I still could not believe that God has finally given me the gift I just truly deserve. A gift that was far beyond my expectations!

I was just thinking... If it took me so long to find my one true love, maybe God is working on it too? I am claiming that he is the best! Yes, he is!

Now, do you believe that God gives the best gifts ever? Coz... Yes, I do!

My Cravings!!!

Time Check, it's 12 noon... No lunch yet and I had only 2 pandesal for breakfast. Maybe my blood sugar is already dropping, hands cold and clammy and a little bit tipsy. But I have to wait patiently. They're still cooking. As of now, I am practicing my new found picture editor in "picnik". Oh noes, I could not find any other photos to edit. All I could see is food all over. My mouse looks like a chocolate to me, yeah for real, I am starving, alleluah!!

So here's my first try... the collage!

Friends with the same feathers flock together. And if there's one common denominator with us is that, we are all "matatakaw!". We splurge a lot for food, everywhere, anywhere! And guess what's our favorite? rice! rice! rice! Well, that is my personal favorite too.... I always go for extra rice. Isn't it ironic? We binge a lot, we aim to gain weight, but we are all skinny. My golly.. Anyhow, we never lose hope. We starve, we crave, we binge, all for the glory of somehow getting fat!

So this is how we crave and these are the few of my favorite food!
From left, that is from seafood island... Imagine, 3 lang kami kumain nyan... And burp, excuse us but naubos namin yan!!! We eat like construction workers... But we look like we're always gutom. I'm always weighing myself and sigh, a kilo for a month is already tantamount to a sack of rice. (exage lang!) lol...

Then the ice cream. I have ice cream buddies, and this is our comfort food. Whenever emo days struck us, there's always ice cream to rescue! We go to ice cream house, or my new fave yogurt, or kahit ice scramble lang, solve na! lastly, the crabs!!! Actually that is what I want to eat right now. Sigh, but hotdog and lumpia is the only thing we have for lunch... Geezzz, so isipin ko nalang, crabs yun! hehe

O sya, sya, so much for these cravings. I am seriously hungry!!! Now who could have thought that a skinny girl like me could have an appetite as big as a hippo?! ^^

LOVE

I have visited my previous blogs in (multiply.com), then there was one entry that caught my attention. It was entitled, "100 things I wanna do before I die."

It was funny to know that I was just 19 years old when I wrote this blog. Now that I am 26, I realized that I am almost halfway upon reaching those 100 things I want to do. So, does this mean that I'm halfway before the day I'm gonna die? haha... Nah,,,, Ayoko pang mamatay and day by day, my dreams vary and of course, dumadami na yung mga gusto kong gawin.

Then suddenly, I got stunned by my 78th dream. It said: I wanna have a foundation of my own someday for the unfortunate children who could not go to school...

I realized, it was really something big! Yes, a big dream I wanna reach one day. But how??? First, I am not yet rich..ME. Not yet. Rich. Sigh.

I then came researching on how to sponsor a child to school. And then I saw some ads on google.

World Vision!! Perfect! If the time comes that I won't be able to have a foundation on my own, because I believe it's way too dreamy to do so, maybe sponsoring a child to school would be something that could alternate my dream. Oh, why not? I, myself have been an iskolar ng bayan. I have survived my college years as a nursing student with my tuition fee half paid by the government/CHED, and I needed to maintain high grades... It was a great feeling though that I was able to help my parents lessen their burden...So maybe one day, I will be happy seeing a child who'll be able to finish school because of....uhmm, me!

when I was browsing, I found these pictures of celebrities who have a big heart, and made me smile.

KC concepcion

Jolina Magdangal (oh gosh, she has her own foundation. So inggit ako. Okay, she's rich)

(Bianca Gonzales on Unicef)

Isn't it so moving to know that even these popular celebrities do have a time to share their hearts to the little ones? well I believe it is a great feeling to do so. And touching someone's heart is worth more than a trip to Europe (as I have been dreaming too for so long.)

Now let me share my own happy encounters with the little kiddos.

As a nurse, I barely could attend volunteer programs like, early childhood education in the barrios, though my sister is an early childhood teacher. As much as I want to, ako na ang babaeng walang pahinga. Isang dakilang nurse! So what do you expect? Everyday I am touching lives, and I could never leave my patients. Then, one day, I was called by our supervisor if I could volunteer and sacrifice my 1 precious day off to have my duty as a nurse for the free "Operation Smile". (free operation for the children who have cleft lip/palate, in short bingot). before I could say no, my heart already said yes. Okay, Yes, I did it. I was just so surprised that there were a number of them. And I was the only one who showed up for the 50++ babies I think??! Whoah, d ko ata kaya, I thought. Good thing, 2 other nurses came up. (because I insisted to have someone else..hehe) Tao lang! D ako superwoman!

Operation smile indeed! It was not only the mommys we have created "smile" on their faces but also us were fulfilled afterwards. Of course ironic it may seem but we made the babies cry out-loud! (with all the tusok and medicines)

Another little thing I have made for God was...for two consecutive Christmas, I went to Baclaran with my friends to give away little presents to the street children. Ano lang ba ang konteng laruan, pagkain at damit? But for them, it was priceless!!!

See? I know I was not able to accomplish my 78th wish yet. Not exactly as I wished it to be. But if ever I won't be able to, I promise to myself that I would be helping and reaching out in my own little ways. I believe I am so much blessed already with so many things by God. He has spoiled me with whatever I pray. Parang lahat ng hinihiling ko, eh bininigay nya. Now, this is gratitude. And believe it or not, it's an innate feeling. Nobody told me to be this generous. I learned it myself. Being loved teaches you to love even more. So  don't let hatred nor greediness reside in your heart. Hate is such a strong word....

Make it lighter...
Love!!! =)

Thank you!

Let me first have a deep sigh. I just felt like having a great relief after panting from a long run. I know that no one in this world knows what I have been through all this time. I have been proud of myself that I was able to cover up my pain with laughter and smiles, that each day I am trying to create for me to survive.

Well, God knows what. He knows every little thing that I was and am feeling. That is why I never hid anything from HIM. I cried, I ignored my pain, and confided only to Him.

I have this line from Paulo Coelho that said, "writing is a way of praying in solitude". 

And this is what I am doing right now. I wanted God to hear my heart through this.

I need not to tell you what was making me cry. I believe it would not matter anyway. But today, I just have felt God's grasp. I felt that after all, finally, He has given me my heart's desire. I have been praying over and over everyday, and I don't even know if God has been deafened from my unrelenting prayers. But truly, I wanted it to be heard.

I sat down. I told Him I am already tired. I lifted everything to Him. And I said, "pagod na po ako." It's all up to You now.

I give up. I am no longer expecting, but still I am hoping....

As I opened my email today, it brightened up my day upon hearing the good news. God knows how happy I was. My anxiety raised up to the point of a result to a projectile vomiting (seriously). I was so tearful. Finally, God heard my prayers. 

As much as I want to share the good news, I held my breath and stopped myself. Soon, in due time, it will be revealed. But as of now, I just wanna say,

Thank you, God!