Thank you!

Let me first have a deep sigh. I just felt like having a great relief after panting from a long run. I know that no one in this world knows what I have been through all this time. I have been proud of myself that I was able to cover up my pain with laughter and smiles, that each day I am trying to create for me to survive.

Well, God knows what. He knows every little thing that I was and am feeling. That is why I never hid anything from HIM. I cried, I ignored my pain, and confided only to Him.

I have this line from Paulo Coelho that said, "writing is a way of praying in solitude". 

And this is what I am doing right now. I wanted God to hear my heart through this.

I need not to tell you what was making me cry. I believe it would not matter anyway. But today, I just have felt God's grasp. I felt that after all, finally, He has given me my heart's desire. I have been praying over and over everyday, and I don't even know if God has been deafened from my unrelenting prayers. But truly, I wanted it to be heard.

I sat down. I told Him I am already tired. I lifted everything to Him. And I said, "pagod na po ako." It's all up to You now.

I give up. I am no longer expecting, but still I am hoping....

As I opened my email today, it brightened up my day upon hearing the good news. God knows how happy I was. My anxiety raised up to the point of a result to a projectile vomiting (seriously). I was so tearful. Finally, God heard my prayers. 

As much as I want to share the good news, I held my breath and stopped myself. Soon, in due time, it will be revealed. But as of now, I just wanna say,

Thank you, God!