Courage from deep within..

I only once dream to go to different places. I always wonder how it feels like to indulge with different cultures around the world. And maybe that was one of the reasons why I always wanted to be rich on my own.  I never did think that this day would come that I would one by one reach to the point of making them come true.

True, I am not yet rich. But mind you, my wealth of beautiful memories as I had been to places is much more than I could imagine at the age of 26. I could not even think of how did I do that, with a not-so-well-compensated-nurse like me.

When I was a kid, I used to hang out at my grandfather's beach resort and look at the straight horizon at the sea. I used to wonder, "what's beyond that horizon?" or "how far could I be when I grow up?"

Well, The moment I graduated high school and started to grab that opportunity to be independent and spread my wings, I began to explore the world and learned a lot of things on my own.

I just believe that every person could conquer even the scariest thing in this world. A long time ago, I used to be so nauseous during bus, ship or plane rides. I always have to vomit in the midst of the travel that I always wanted to sleep the whole time. But my mom told me that the only thing to conquer that feeling is to get used to it. So yes, I traveled and traveled, until the feeling became physiologic.

Ironic it may seem, but I used to be the most shy girl in school. I never dance (well, I'm not good at it too), I don't get myself to extra curricular, except that on "writings", and I never wanted to be talking on crowd. Well, I believed I have conquered that fear when i became the speaker/commentator on my best friend's wedding. I had no idea how I sounded that time because I was damn nervous. It was one of a kind feeling. But with glory, I did it anyway. For friendship's sake.

Another brave thing I have done in my life were the gigantic roller coasters I have conquered all over. I just kept on telling myself though, "Im not gonna die, Im not gonna die! (while crossing my fingers and holding my breath). Later on, I just thought that it's indeed so much fulfilling to be able to conquer your fear of fast and furious things. It's relieving and indeed an achievement! Well for now, I do it most often than not.

I gained my greatest confidence when I first had my photoshoot. Wow, I remember that time again. And at this moment, I could feel how my stomach churned like crazy while the photographers were taking some pictures. I was about to run and hide. It was so embarrassing. But my friend kept on telling me to go on and face my fears. After all, it's all about expressing myself and afterwards, the people around you, would forget about it anyway. True enough, I felt like I have won a lottery of confidence after the shoot. It was not about pleasing anybody for the outcome, but overcoming the fears of showing up like I used to do that I have gained.

There's indeed no cure to cowardliness but to face them and beat them.

Now lastly, I have been scared of falling in love and getting hurt. nah.... I don't wanna be talking about it this time. Not this, not this. But.... if only there's one wish for bravery that I would want, it would be for someone to be brave enough to tell me that he's not scared to fall in love with me coz I am just so scared. And if that someone would do, then maybe I will be the bravest person in the world.