10 things That I'll miss in UMC

If I have to narrate everything that I would be missing in UMC (my workplace for almost 3 years), it would be a novel!  So, here's my personal top 10.

"These are the few of my favorite things!"

10. The communication logbook-
it's our station diary of events, rants, announcements, bloopers, stories, ka-echosan, heartaches, grudges, jokes and lovelife! So it's a diary, obviously, I love reading them, and writing on it as well. It's not only funny to read some notes, but the good thing about this logbook is that, it reminds us that the day is BENIGN. (kasi may time pa magsulat sa communcation logbook). I just lurv it!

9. The weighing Scale-
I don't know what has gotten to the people in my station. Everybody just seem to be so conscious with their weights. nagapapayatan, or nagpapatabaan. So, I guess I belong to the latter. "nagpapataba". It's like I do weigh myself 4-5x in an 8 hour shift. Pagkakain, weigh! Ok, am I not fooling myself, ayt? Well, as far as I could remember, 3 years ago, when I had my pre- employment physical exam, I was just at 39 kilos, and now it's 45. Well not bad, huh? But..... still I am suppose to be 50. blah blah.... It's hard, ok? haha

8. The Vendo Machine-
yeah yeah, it's my fave! I just could not have a night duty without dropping by the vendo for some refreshments. I know I have trouble in keeping myself awake at night and so, as much as possible, I try to entertain myself by eating and drinking. My fave is the iced coffee frap for only 15 pesos! I remember one time when my workmate tried his first coke zero vendo because I forced him to, and turned out to be hot orange juice. haha... So weird! Surely, Im gonna miss it!

7. My locker-
Okay, i have to admit that my locker is not as neat as you can imagine but it's not that messy too. It's just that everytime I open it up, there's always a missing ballpen, pencil, etc. May mga paa kasi gamit ko, nangangapit bahay. I will just miss those times when one day I will see it on other cases like, 'uy akin to ah" or maybe I was using their ballpen. So ballpens, cotton balls and micropores, they are the most precious possessions at work. It's like, "wow, thank God, may cotton!" haha... Isn't it ironic?

6. Recollections-

twice a year, as a catholic institution, we do have an advent and lent recollection. sabi nga ni father, the recollection is a time to rest. time to be with God and do nothing but rest. so sometimes, or most of the time, i am asleep during recollections. literally, rest! ;p

5. Outings-

Syempre bongga ang outing ng la Salle. I remember when i was a freshie in this institution, i was so amazed to know that there would be an outing in palawan. i was so ecstatic. 1 month preparation lng naman. and surely, i enjoyed it so much. the next year, it was in Hongkong (disneyland/ocean park) and China. oh dba bongga? I never thought that my disneyland dream would be granted by UMC. ---"in fairness"

4. The groceries
Oh how I wish that someday, UMC will have a Christmas, midyear, birthday bonus too, aside from the 13th month pay. Okay hello? calling?.... Sana magka bonus nmn! hehe... Anyway, on of the perks during Christmas is the give-away "groceries" for the staff- the noche buena. So memorize ko na laman nyan, "pasta, cheese, ham, fruit cocktail, condensed milk, nestle cream, and juice", as always! Anyway, thank you! It's the thought that counts. Pantawid pasko na din yun, dba?

3. Thoughtful patients

Once in a bluemoon, we also encounter generous and thoughtful patients, not just grumpy ones. it's when you are at the middle of toxicity, and your stomach is churning, there's no food in the pantry, no time to buy yourself food, no time to pee and you feel like your dying for starvation and suddenly, there's a patient would bring a "red ribbon cake" or the famous "pizza" or kahit minsan pandesal lng, sobrang appreciated na. Those little things would keep us going. And to name a few overwhelming incidents is when I received a "thank you letter, bracelet, or even cash" from some of the grateful clients. That's so sweet!

2. The staff-

but of corz, this place would mean nothing without the people. Everyday, I am seeing the doctors, nurses, pharmacists, housekeepers, guards, etc. They are the reason of my survival. I am thankful for the good people around. It's like a family in my second home. They just bring- happiness.

1. the Culture

for 3 years, finally i have adopted the la sallean culture that i always neglect to obey before. i was so skeptical of the rules and regulations that are way too different from mine before. i never thought that i would be introduced to some sorts of (bec), religious rules, etc.... i never thought that i would be an experienced nurse this way, thanks to umc! for my rants, complaints and hardships, i should say that, it's all been paid off.

One more thing,
Thank You!

Sometimes, I'm being a camwhore. Love being taken a picture of. Seriously, this is a not-so-good-shot-just-because-camera's drained-and-there's no-take two!

So this is it! (a holy week lunch with fam)

Holy Week

I usually stay at home, watch Christian movies and resist meat on a holy week. This time, my whole family is here and we just have to make a little twist of our yearly routine.

I was from a night duty that I felt groggy when my brother woke me up coz we are going to Tagaytay. I rushed to the shower and there we go to Cliff house. A not so usual scenario was a traffic and a jampack place. We decided to eat at the Crepe's house and the Ice cream house. I felt the starving sensation on my stomach but I just reminded myself that it's Good friday and as a Catholic, I am suppose to go on fasting.

Instead of meat, I ordered the Crepe, with butter and sugar. The description in the menu said that it goes with melon, mangoes and other fruits. So it seems so inviting, eh? I was so excited, but the order took so long. When finally my order came.....

Ta--Dahhhhh!!! So eto na pala yun! It was so plain and simple. it's soooo Holy weekish!

Sigh, ok so I don't have to complain. This simple food costs almost 200bucks. Ok I ate it and reminded myself again that it's holy week and it's a fasting day. tsk!!!! After that meal, surprisingly, I was full! No kidding, this simple food was so heavy in the stomach that somehow, I felt like I was contented with what I was eating. Afterwards, the frozen yogurt in the "fling" store made my day!

We stayed there for few hours. And that's my brother! My mom was so amazed with the people around. "Bakit daw ang mga tao sobrang puputi? I said, mom, they're Chinese!" hahaha

It was not so kinda different from my previous holy week. The ONLY thing about this time is that, my family is complete. =)

Oh my Old School! I saw this pic in FB and I was so happy to see my humble school wayback when I was in High School. As the name implies, I studied in Sindangan National High School, a small town in Zamboanga del Norte.

It was 10 years ago, and I know my life had been through a "major-major" detour already.

Anyhow, looking back to the past is not a bad idea. Actually, it would make you feel more fulfilled, knowing that after all, you have gone this far! I was staring at the picture and every memory flashes back, like the windows on the second floor were the places I used to hang out, the small building on the left side was our music calssroom and we had a little garden where I used to make chika with my friends.

Before I forget, by the way, this is only the building for academically accelerated, I mean, for the class A students. Oh well, proud to say that i was one of the good students back then. (woohhoooo! good girl eh)
My life was so simple back then. No technology at all! I have lived without knowing how to use the computer, no mobile phones, no social networks. I have lived! Now, I could not imagine if I ever could do that again!

When I was in high school, I never felt loneliness or being not contented with my life. I never felt my loss, not until I have spread my wings and discovered the world of today.

Upon seeing this picture of the past, I realized that happiness comes when you are not looking for something more, just because you are contented of what you have.... well, no matter humble and simple my high school has been, I never regret the day I studied in this school which made me one of the best students in college (academically), the one who nailed the board exams, and now, a great person who appreciates every little thing that happens everyday. Thank you, SNHS! You are still my living legend!

I just wanna blog something that is worth remembering. Something that I wanna be reminded by the time comes I am ready to reveal what I really feel, or maybe it would just be revealed naturally.

2 years ago, I met this guy whom I almost cursed with all my life. I was just got so stocked with my past that I totally closed my heart and my eyes from the possibilities of falling in love again.

Then I met this "Mr. Courageous" guy. He did everything. He made me feel special, he just did immeasurable efforts that ONLY me could not appreciate. I remember those times when I had to hid myself whenever I get to bump with him in the hallways just because I was trying to avoid him. Those times when I had to deny my voice over the phone whenever I got to talk to him Those times whenever I got to refuse to his invites to movie or dinner dates just because I just simply didn't like him, or maybe I was inlove with someone else. Those times when I pretended to got no load just because I never wanted to text him back. Those days!!!... The days I wish I could say sorry. =(

If I have to recall, I know I had hurt him too without even meaning it. Sometimes, it hurts to know that we just can't teach our hearts who it would be beating for.

Until one day, I prayed. I prayed that I would fall for him. I prayed that I would feel the same way, just to end all the sufferings I had. Surprisingly, there was one moment in my life when I just felt happy with his presence. I don't really know if it was love but it just so happened that he became a person who made me happy and made my heart skipped a bit. Everything was so perfect He loved me and I liked it. Til the day came when I have to pay the pain I had caused him before the happy stories we had. maybe I just have to learn my lesson. maybe I just have to feel how it was to be love and be in pain in return. Maybe it was my turn to chase him, and him to push me away. It all happened when he told me he was inlove with someone else, the time when I was learning to love him back. It was so painful that I just could not find a word to describe it well.

Fastforward to the moving on process. Today, we are both in the stage of forgiving and forgetting. What is done, is done and the past is past. So here we are in a let's start all over phase and live with no expectations. I know somehow, that we both grew up and learned our lessons. Truly, we both got hurt and personally, I have gained so much from it.

....pag gusto ka at ayaw mo, sabihin mo na. Wag mo nang hayaang dumating ang araw na ikaw nmn ang paasahin.
.... Pag nagsorry na at alam mo nmng totoo, patawarin mo na at kalimutan na ang lahat. Tandaan mong, ikaw din nmn nagkakamali.
...May mga taong gusto ka pero ayaw mo, at gusto mo pero ayaw ka. Tanggapin nlng. Wag manakit. Malay mo, bumaliktad ang mundo, gaya ko. ;)

Our story has actually not ended yet. Yes it hasn't...

(to be continued)

My first ever photoshoot. This was the most awkward shoot infront of strangers. I was so nervous. Well, not so obvious, at least! And it's the simplest post I could ever have. I saw this pic from the Flicker photoshoot of Nino Airis Villasor, my photographer. Thanks, man! You're getting great! =)

 ( This shot was taken few days before my 26th Birthday. A funshoot from my Nikonian friends.)

I was staring at this photo, and I could not contain my objection on how "real" that confidence had been deceived by the choreography of the photographer, the effects of the lights, the cover up of the make up and the pretensions in my eyes.

If I have to reveal my real emotions at this very moment, you would not believe that I was really wanting to run, I was starving, and tired and shy. I was thinking "why on earth am i having this shoot?" But because this was not my first time to do it, I just somehow overcome that feeling of stiffness infront of the people who tries to make this shot perfect.

I remember when I was in highschool or even during my younger years, I never had a solo picture of myself. I have these insecurities that ruined the shot whenever I got captured in the camera. I just felt like when I do pose or someone is taking a picture of me alone and the rest are watching me, I felt like they are laughing at me and it felt stupid to be at the center of attention. And that's how I felt like running. I never had a confidence in me before.

It's just a big sigh of relief that overcoming the fear of the crowd is now over. I have successfully passed those years of being timid.

For some reasons, being a model from the photoshoots I have been through made me realize a lot of things. Like, conquering your fears, resolving confidence issues, and being who you are on and off cam. It really radiates on a picture no matter how you try to deceive. It goes with how you feel and how you really wanna look like.

I have done different concepts and I realize that the most comfortable feeling I am into is, wearing a smile and having the soft side of me and most especially, being the me in the simplest form as I really am!

My First Post

April 13, 2011

I have been thinking of creating a place like my thoughts and dreams and emotions would be banked, but I just could not find a place quiet enough to blog then. Not until I finally decided to create this blog site. It's just so timely that at this point of my life, there's a lot in me that I wanna share about.

Well, the reason why I created this blog is not just to write, but somehow, in my thoughts, that someday, this would be a perfect place to look back where I was on my first quarter of my life. One day, I would be laughing at my awkwardness, shallowness and being so sentimental fool that I just could not resist feeling at this very moment.

I dont know but during the times that I am at the peak of my emotion, my head is just so driven that it can create a lot of words more than I can ever imagine. I just get so preoccupied that I believe putting them into words is the only way to have some peace of mind.

So how am I feeling today? Honestly, I am inlove. I am so much inlove with this one person who obliviously got no idea how I am feeling. Okay, I don't wanna narrate who he is, and how it goes. I just knew it from myself that this feeling is not so usual. I know that I have been praying that I would feel this way again after all the hearbreaks that I have been through before, but I never thought that unrequited love is so much harder that I seem to conquer a heartache. It just sucks!

How can being so inlove be a wonderful feeling? How could I make it right? Now I am blankly thinking. I am staring with my mind thinking of him. So this blog is not actually created because of me, but because of this feeling I just could not release to him.

Okay, one day.... when I got no more blood in my veins, voice in my throat, I hope he will find this. A place where everything is written but unsaid. Yes, one day, someday!